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Networking tips for shy people

I am pretty outgoing and very easy to speak with, but when I first started networking for my job search I found it a bit overwhelming, I was more reserved, standing there watching the action, but not participating very much. In some social situations, I tend to be more reserved, but have learned how to overcome that and I wanted to offer a few tips for people in a similar situation, especially if you have never attended a networking event at all. Most of these types of events are what I’d refer to as ‘fast networking’ events, you meet briefly in 5-10 minutes, and exchange contact information.

Friends and family

This is probably the easiest place to start, people who know you, and you know them. Ask them to help you rehearse, have them show you how they would introduce themselves in a network event setting, and practice your elevator speech with them. Practice that firm handshake, practice making and keeping eye contact, and smile. Practicing with them will help build your confidence and make it easier for you to initiate that contact with someone else.

Network with people you have a common interest with

In keeping with my last post about meetup.com,  network with people you have a common interest with. Regardless your career path or field, having that common interest makes things easier, and for me, two activities I enjoy are hiking and geocaching. You will meet people who share that activity or interest, and it will be easier to speak with them, and open up the discussion to other topics.

Arrive at the event a little early

I have done this myself, and found this does help me, depending on the venue, and how the event is organized (breakfast or lunch meeting, evening business mixer, open forum, conference, panel discussion, job fair, etc), this can be to your advantage. Including the chance to meet and introduce yourself to the host(s) and/or special guest(s) before things get very busy.

Ask for introductions

Two ways you can do this are:

1. Attend an event with someone you know
2. Seek out the host of an event and introduce yourself

In the first case, having someone at an event that knows you, will make it easier. You already have a relationship with him or her, and they may be able to make a warm introduction to someone who can assist you with your goal. This ‘tag-team’ approach goes both ways, you may find someone while you’re there that may benefit from meeting your friend, and you can make that introduction.

Another thing that has happened to me is being introduced to someone who after a few minutes would say, “I think you may want to talk to John, it sounds like you may have something in common, let me introduce you.” Then proceed to introduce me to that person, making that warm introduction. I’ve never looked at that as a brush-off, and appreciated the new introduction.

In the second case, you will have to get over your shyness, take the initiative, and make that initial contact, but it will be worth it. For some events I’ve attended the hosts have been VERY helpful in making an initial warm introduction to someone else after you speak to them and they can ‘match’ you with someone who they know that matches closely with what you’re seeking.

After being introduced to someone, ask them a question

Simple thing here is to listen, in being shy and reserved, you have the chance to listen instead of speaking, and getting to know more about the person. A great way to break the ice and depending on the meeting if it’s business or more social  is to ask them about their business or a hobby.

If you’re introduced to someone standing with a group already engaged in a conversation, listen to the conversation, to get a feel for it and join the conversation if you have something to add and contribute.

Closing the deal

After you’ve made that connection with someone, they may ask for a business card, and if you don’t have a card I recommend Vistaprint.com as a source for business cards. If they did not ask for a card, ask them for one. Always carry a pen with you, and on the back of their card write down something about them, something you discussed, also jot down the date and place you met.

Followup after the event

I recommend taking their contact information and adding it to your contact list. Follow up with an email or phone call, mention where you met, and even briefly what you discussed. You’ve done the hard part, making that initial connection. In that followup, if you want to take it to the next level, invite them out for coffee, to really get to know them better with some slow networking. I met both my financial adviser and insurance agent at networking events during the last year. I’ve recommended them to others, which is part of what networking is about, building and keeping those relationships. It will take a while for you to build up your network, but the more you practice, the easier it will get.

Use social media

Several sites come to mind for helping build your network and helping you reach your goals, LinkedIn is one I highly recommend, and when you make a followup with someone from an event, ask to connect with them on LinkedIn.  Who sends the invite is up to you. I’ve got my LinkedIn web address on my card, so a lot of times I’ll get the request before making the request of them. If they have a website or blog, or are on some other social media sites, that’s also a good place to get to know more about them, their passions, likes, dislikes,and even how you can help them. Other aspects of using social media is being able to connect with like-minded people, joining discussions online, being a contributor.  This in itself can help build your confidence when meeting people face to face for the first time.

Ask for help

In closing, plain and simple, ask for help from those who are closest to you, ask a friend to go with you to an event with you, and practice, practice practice.

Happy Reading!

-Martin

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